Money isn’t Everything. (04-12-2010)

i’ve  seen a disturbing trend amongst the BDSM “community” regarding a Dominant’s financial status and his ability to be a Dominant.

This is bullshit.

i mean, what the hell. i would think a guy’s employment would be a bigger indicator of his mental state than his fucking paycheck. Is he in a stable job? Has he had it for a while? Is it fairly consistent, with the ability to move forward? Is he good at it?

In the current state of the economy, i would think it very unfair to judge someone by the size of the bank account. VERY. Who can expect to be fired? To have their job sent to Saalami in Pakistan? That 3 months of savings experts tell you to have on hand doesn’t go nearly as far as it should, especially when the average span of unemployment is longer than 6 months.

Why does it bother me, to see this grave error in judgment? Because it discourages everyday working stiffs from feeling like they have anything to learn and contribute to others interested in WIITWD.  People like my Owner, who was laid off for 6 months and we spent through the little savings we had. Now we are scrimping to get by, struggling to find our footing in the rushing river of life. This doesn’t mean He is a bad Owner, He isn’t disqualified because life happened. It isn’t as easy as checking the zeros behind the bank account balance and writing a guy off as bad D material because there aren’t as many as you think there should be. Look at the bigger picture, like i mentioned above. Bad things happen to good people. Illness, unexpected job loss, personal tragedy…look at the person, not the numbers.

It seems like the public scene puts an emphasis on physical trappings of dominance and less on the actual person. Why do people automatically assume that the guy stalking around with 5 tools tied to his leather belt on his leather pants wearing the leather cap have more going on mentally than the guy watching amused at the leather-clad buffoon, wearing normal clothing and carrying nothing more than the leash of his girl? When did equipment become an acceptable substitute for brains and integrity? What happened to prizing knowledge?

What the hell happened to common sense?

2 thoughts on “Money isn’t Everything. (04-12-2010)

  1. Daddy is disabled, and his only income is his child support. He’s a stay-at-home father, and I’m the one who goes out every day to my job to support my family. He does the cooking 28 nights out of 30; he does the grocery shopping; he helps me fold laundry. (And let me tell ya, it’s really cute watching him try to fold our daughters’ undies!)

    Yet, he’s one of the most dominant men I know.

    I hesitated when I first met Daddy, because he didn’t work and I was struggling just to support me and my two kiddos. But, we make it work. He still pays all the bills and handles all the finances. I pay him a certain amount each month and keep the rest for expenses. It works out – and I don’t need to stress out over bills or purchases.

    The dollar amount in the checking account doesn’t determine who a person is. Good on you for posting this, tora 🙂

    • I definitely agree with your take on it, dissy. Ray sets off my d/o/m-meter pretty strongly, and watching the two of you, there’s no question of who is wearing the pants. 🙂 N still helps out from time to time around the house too, and honestly, it makes me respect Him even more!

      Glad this post spoke to you. I love having you wandering around here in aHt. I like your blog too!

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