A little fun (11/16/2010)

I was stoking the woodstove this morning, cussing under my breath at the log that wouldn’t light on fire, and my mind started wandering. It does that so much I rarely ever expect it home anymore…

There are parallels to slavery and stoking a woodstove. Seriously!

Top Ten Ways Slavery is Like Using the Woodstove:

  1. It takes patience. Lots and lots of patience. Starting a fire from scratch is not something that can be rushed.
  2. Without a good foundation, the fire will never meet its full potential. When you start a fire on top of ash, you can’t just lays logs down and toss a match in…you have to build it cross-wise on the bottom row of kindling, lengthwise on the next. Fire needs to breathe.
  3. I need to re-mention patience.
  4. Remember the raw materials. Some woods burn better at different temperatures, some create a lot of by-products, some are slow to start but burn forever. Knowing your material is half the battle.
  5. Fine-tuning the combustion process takes balance and close observation. It’s an intricate dance between the fresh air intake and the flue damper. Open the air too much with an open flue and the fire will burn out before you ever benefit from it’s creation. Open the air but choke the flue down, you’ll never have an established fire…it will just smolder and smoke you out. If you close down the air but leave the flue wide open, your fire will listlessly scorch the wood and little more.
  6. Working with a woodstove becomes less and less difficult the more you become accustomed to it’s nature.
  7. There is a sense of satisfaction in seeing a good roaring fire in your woodstove, feeling its heat and knowing that you are the one that helped create it.
  8. It takes plenty of dedication and planning to efficiently utilize a woodstove. Many scoff at the old-fashioned nature of this practice, what with the modern age and all, but the experienced woodstove user will know that a little work can do a body good.
  9. A smart woodstove owner will do research and know what the woodstove’s capabilities, requirements and maintenance needs are.
  10. Because it needs to be said again: PATIENCE!

So there you have it. A little old-time wisdom from this tired, soot-smeared slave. 🙂

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